Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Je t'aime, Ti Amo, I Love You..


With emails and text messages becoming the new form of conversation, the words "I Love You" are becoming less and less meaningful. As the world changes and people become more desensitised "I Love You" becomes "Love Ya" and it is fast turning into the way to say goodbye to everyone. I went over a few ways to really say I love you. And make it count.
Je t'aime!

Write something. Anything! A friend of mine recently broke up with his "Amazing Girlfriend" by mistake and is trying with all his heart to get her back. So he wrote her a letter - for which I was asked to proof read - and it really spoke to me. I only read the actual words once but it wasn't them that said he loved her. It was the way he said everything. With all his heart. "I need you, for without you I am not whole", the love flowed as this boy bore his whole heart to her. He didn't
hold anything back, he wasn't scared of his feelings at all. Even though she might never take him back, he still let her know how loved and missed she really was. It was refreshing to see that this kind of love is still around.

You don't have to write a letter like his, as yes, sometimes it can be full on and a little scary, feelings are a hard thing to show, as a lot of us have been hurt and that scares us. Look at how people used to say"I love you" here and compare it to how people do nowadays. Its very very different. Love is now scary and weird, people don't want to suffer to find their great love. They want a quick-fix without all the emotion. Its a sad sight, but that's just how we've evolved emotionally as humans.

If you find writing a letter bearing all horrifying you could try writing all the things that makes you love them, look here for inspiration. Complement them and make them laugh. You could try your hand at a sonnet or some poetry too! (Its never outdated, I don't care what anyone says.) Just put that pen to paper and let the love flow.

You could even learn to say it in a different language! I have provided some for you below.


French - je t'aime
Italian/Latin - Ti amo
Japanese - Kimi o ai shiteru
Danish - Jeg elsker dig
German - Ich liebe Dich
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Swedish - Ag älskar dig
Russian - Ya vas liubliu
Spanish - Te Amo
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni

Love can come from anywhere, so be sure to stay prepared.

Do some art for him. Whether its painting, photography, sculpture, drawing, graffiti, or cooking. Whatever you do, do it with your heart. Who cares if you're not the most dexterous of people. If you do it with love, your message will shine through the scribbles. Think of all the great artists who worked in the name of Love! There are millions of artists out there who put their feelings for another out for the world to see. Become one and let the world know. Check out DeviantArt.com or Flickr for some examples or post your own!


Say it by showing them how well you know them. If you see something they would love, get it! A beautiful red autumn leaf pressed in a book for a while could make a great bookmark for your bookworm boyfriend, or maybe a Wall-e phone charm would be more fitting? What does he love? Get something that'll compliment him and show him you're thinking about him.

Try something he loves that you wouldn't usually do. Sometimes just going out of your way and showing interest in their hobbies can say more than words can. Get him to teach you, and actually listen! Don't just go watch him do it, get involved. If he likes to play football ask him if he could teach you a few moves, or if he's the artsy type, ask him if you can make something together! Its not hard, and you'll be learning something new. So you both win.

Touch him. No. Not like that.. Well.. Maybe later. What I'm trying to say is touch his body. Give him a massage, rub his head, squeeze his arms, scratch his back. Maybe have a bath together and give each other massages? Studies have shown that human touch releases endorphins and can help with stress and other illnesses. A 15 minute massage on a newborn baby will help it gain weight faster than if you don't. So get some scented oils and get sensual. Help him switch off. (And don't forget to get them back!)

Make Love. Don't just 'have sex' or 'f@#k' or whatever you call it. Making Love isn't just about the big finale, its about the whole experience. The world is now so caught up on everything being 'instant' and we all want everything 'now now now' it seems like most of us have lost the ability to Make Love. Take time to touch each other and kiss, go slowly and make eye contact. Pick a time when you can fall asleep together, and don't rush anything. Take time undressing each other and kiss him and be kissed all over. Put on some slow music, light candles, adjust the lighting, there are heaps of things you can do to set the mood. Foreplay is just as important as the actual lovemaking, as the foreplay will determine the length and type of sex. Hot, fast and heavy will get you just that. So slow it down and take your time. And no. 15 Minutes is not acceptable for this particular activity. Click here, or here or here for some 'how to's' to do it properly. Its harder than you think! But its definetly worth it. (Leave the websites open on your computer for your Mr. to 'happen' a pon if he doesn't get it). Making Love rather than just sex will bring you closer together as a couple and strengthen your love for each other. So its worth the time it takes to read up on it. You'll thank me.

Just spend time together. You don't need to spend money, go out or be anywhere exciting. Just lie in bed together and talk. Turn off your phones sometimes and make it all about you as 'we'. Cuddle, kiss, go for a walk and hold hands. I was playing a game on the net the other day and the other people - guys mainly - were talking about things they do for their girlfriends and wives. One guy woke up early and about to make his girlfriend breakfast in bed (even though he didnt understand why women like it), another had taken her skiing, another just took some time out of his day to tell his wife of 20 years how much he cares about and loved her. It doesnt always have to be him doing romantic things. Guys don't like to say it but they do like being spoilt sometimes. So go ahead. Take some time, make him feel special.

So I've given you a couple of ways to show the love. My main point is this though. Love like you've never been hurt, be understanding, have patience and be equals. Lets try and get that divorce rate down, get it right the first time.

Feel the Love!

xoxo

1 comment:

Stuart said...

I started reading that third link on making love and then I realised I have the audio tape of the whole thing by the guy who wrote it. Actually, I have heaps of his tapes if you're interested (well, mp3s anyway). They're interesting, if nothing else.