Its an arguable fact that when not in a relationship, women tend to take better care of themselves. This - in my case at least - seems to be true. When the bf is hungry, we both must eat. And while a girl has got to eat; there is a huge difference in our diets and I, in turn, put on weight. This causes me to have skin issues and get quite down about myself and in the end I just give up and let myself go.
Its not as though I figure, 'well, I've got him now so whats the point?' Its more along the lines of whatever makes him happy. And what makes him happy is nights in watching movies, pizza and drinking with the boys.
When I am single, I do my hair, get manicures, get facials, inspect my pores, exercise, experiment with make-up, by fabulous cloths and hang out with other girls. When I am in a relationship, all the time I have for those things seems to disappear and some days I can just manage to do my hair and make-up before rushing out the door to read books while he plays sport. Of course I enjoy this to an extent. But I would rather spend that time doing research or hunting out cafes.
Recently I have come up with a battle plan that allows me to do both, because lets face it, if I focus more on my own happiness, it actually makes him happier than when I self sacrifice and torture myself into doing things that make me feel awful. It took me years and years to figure this out. But when I'm in a good mood, looking amazing and being productive I am a much better girlfriend.
Set aside time for you to spend alone. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! Run your errands, pretty yourself up, prance in the nuddy about your house and have tea parties with your girlfriends. Do things that make yourself a happy and healthy lady. Put him first by putting yourself first and everyone wins.
Spend your time together doing 'couple' things. Such as going on dates to cuddling to breakfast before work and walking the dogs. Turn your phones off and focus on each other. Treat him as though you just started dating; with intrigue and wonder. Try to find out new things about each other and do things that will make him happy. He will follow suit and try to make you just as happy.
Keep your word. That goes for him as well. A gentleman always keeps his word. As does a lady.
Don't let him interrupt your 'me' time. Unless he is going to die or be shipped off in the next 24 hours, it can wait. Same goes for you missy. He needs to spend time being silly with his friends and watching sports so he doesn't have to make you do it with him. Besides, wouldn't you rather watch Sex and the City and paint your nails than deal with a bunch of silly boys? Hands up! I thought so..
Eat healthy. Don't let his bad diet affect yours and turn you into Miss Piggy. A good catch will love you no matter what size you are. But you need to do what makes you happy. If you like scoffing hot dogs and guzzling soda with him, by all means, go ahead! But don't come crying when you start to look squishy. You may be in a relationship, but you are your own woman. And you can control yourself.
Speak your mind. Stuff guys liking quiet girls with no opinion. Tell them why you're annoyed. How else will he know you hate it when he flicks bits of napkin down your top? You don't need to scream. Just quietly and politely ask him to stop. He will if you're serious enough.
Sleep in your own bed, more than you sleep in his. Unless you live together that is. You need to be able to have your own space and wake up in your own time some mornings.
Have your own separate friends. Not that you cant be friends with his friends and visa versa, but you need to be able to get away and gossip. Being friends with his friends can sometimes cause dramas too with the more protective boyfriends, or with boys who have friends that like causing trouble.
Now you know a couple things that'll help you love yourself and him more and keep you feeling great about being in a relationship for more than just the 'being in love' part.
Live like you'll die tomorrow,
love like you've never been hurt.
xo-xo
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