How to get what you want

There are a lot of people in the world who complain about what they don't have. They always 'want-want-want' but they apparently never get. Something all these people have in common is the fact that they sit around complaining about what they don't have. They never actually make the proper effort to get it! I have news for those people. You don't get anything for doing nothing.

Whether what you want is to lose 10 kilos or date that dream boat in accounting, there is always a way to get what you want. With hard work and determination! Now a lot of you are probably thinking you want to stop reading this right now.. Saying in your head "Yeah yeah, I've heard this before!", well if that's the case and you're still not getting what you want you're probably not trying hard enough.

Here are a few key things you need to know before you can get ahead.

Learn to admit when you're wrong.

There is nothing wrong with being wrong. Unless you cannot admit it. Nobody likes a sore loser. Just suck it up, apologise and admit it and you'll find people respect you far, far more. And being respected is way better than being stubborn.

That also goes for taking the blame. If you've done something at work, home or out, don't lie or blame someone else. Just say this key sentence "I'm really sorry, it wont happen again", and then try your damnedest to make sure it doesn't. Just take the blame and deal with the consequences and try to fix it. Its not as scary as you think.

Stand up for when you're right.

But don't rub it in people's faces. A lot of people HATE being told they're wrong and even when they know you're right, they will stick to their story. Just shrug them off, they're not smart enough to waste your breath on anyway.

Express your opinion fluently and passionately.

But don't be preachy. There is a good balance for everything, and when you strike the right one, you will know. Debating is fun. Arguing is not. There is no need to get in a fist fight over something trivial.

"Lead, follow or get out of the way."

Yeah, alright I stole that line from a movie. But they do say its the best form of flattery! But the line has a lot of truth to it. If you find yourself in a situation where someone needs to take charge, don't be afraid to! If you feel you're up to the task then exercise that authority and show them what you've got. If you don't feel up to that role, there is absolutely no shame in following. Someone might know more than you and would be better suited for the job. Getting out of the way, though it is an option, isn't a well respected one. Nobody will listen to you in the future if you just get out of sticky situations all the time.

Have courage!

Plato once said, "courage is knowing what not to fear". Things to fear go along the lines of; Sharks, explosions, falling off cliffs, etc. Mostly things that could maim or kill you really.. Don't be afraid to invite that cute guy out for a drink, or ask your boss for a promotion. The worst that could happen is you get turned down! And how long will that hurt for? The answer to that is 'it wont hurt'. You might just be disappointed for a couple days.

And remember.. There ARE other men/jobs/apartments/outfits. There is a whole world of other things out there! So when it comes down to it, you have nothing to lose. Only new opportunities to gain.

Real winners are the ones that try, even though there is a chance they wont make it.

Make sure you know your priorities.

Yes. We know you want that new job. We know what you gotta do to get it. But try to take it into account the rest of your life. There is no point neglecting your dog, family, boyfriend or most importantly, yourself, to get what you want. Weigh up the pros and cons and do what you can without killing yourself over it.

If you do rack your brains and start banging your head against walls trying to get what you want, think about what its going to do to your work. To get what you want you need to be competent. Scribblings on scrap paper at 2am, do not make the cut unless you're a writer or designer and that's how you do it.

Now for the hard stuff!

Okay, so we've got your basic rules down. You have the ammo to get what you want, now you just need the right idea on how to approach the situations life throws at you.

Asking out a boy might be daunting, but you cant let him see that. You gotta be cool, confident and collected. Walk up like its nothing! Just smile and say, 'wanna catch up after work some time for a drink?'. Easy as that! If he says something like 'Oh, sorry I have a girlfriend', or something like that, just turn it into a group thing! Something like 'I was just asking around the office if anyone wanted to catch up for work drinks and wanted to know if you would like to come!', if he doesn't work with you, just say 'sorry' and blush shyly, he'll be quite flattered that you went up to him either way.

If the boy you want to ask is a bit closer to home, like a friend for instance, just flirt a little more than usual and see if they pick up on the hints. Dress in ultra cute outfits, try hang out with just him more often, giggle. You don't need to come straight out and say it straight away, if he's into you, he should pick up the hints! (unless he's a bone head, then just get tipsy together and kiss him unexpectedly)

For a promotion, approach your boss when there isn't an ultra crazy deadline keeping everyone in a frenzy. Try get him or her when its been a relaxing day, during work hours. No one wants to talk shop after work. Make sure you plan out what you want to say, and keep it brief. Don't drag on with 'uhmmm's and 'errr's. State what you want and why you think you deserve it and thank them for their time. Write down a speech at home and practice with your housemate or cat to get it polished and perfect.

If you're asking your partner to move in with you or visa-versa, just ask them straight out. Don't beat around the bush, and try to word it so if they won't feel bad if they say 'no'. Ask them when they're not stressed out from work or anything. They'll be more appreciating if you wait for when they're relaxed. Remember, men cant process as much info as women. Make sure they have time to think about it over properly and come to a reasonable solution.

Asking landlords if you can get a pet. Myself, and one of my close friends have both dealt with this and it will all depend on your landlord and the pet you're getting. Remember to be reasonable. A Golden retriever might not be the best idea for your one bedroom apartment in the middle of the city. Make sure you decide on a suitable pet and research its habits and traits before you ask your agent. Will it need a lot of room? Is it a yappy dog? A shedding cat? Will you buy a puppy or a fully grown animal? Don't look for one until you get clearance either, cause you might not get permission. Make sure you are able to speak to your agent properly and tell them about the animal you want. They may be fine with a cat, -most strata owned flats are- but not with a dog. You might be able to sway their opinion if you voice your proposition passionately and show responsibility. Explain what measures you are willing to take to prevent the house being affected by the new occupant.

If you want to lose weight. There is a simple answer to this. Just do it. No excuses, nothing, if you need help, get it! There are plenty of nutritionists, dietitians, gyms, doctors and naturopaths that can get you on the right track. If you're strapped for cash, research diets on the Internet, making sure you don't get onto a 'fad-diet'. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water and exercise. Do a detox programme and stick do it. You DO have the will power. Remember that.

Start your new dream hobby. Gather the materials you need, make some time and do it! That's all there is to it. If you don't know how to do it, look up classes or how-to's and learn!

Moving out of home. Living with your parents is relatively easy compared to living on your own or in a share house. Before you announce your departure, write out a budget, it'll need to include rent, bills, food allowance, entertainment and a some extra to put away for emergencies. Do you make enough? Will you need a new job before you think about moving out? You need to take all this into account before you do anything. Then you need to think about what kind of living situation will suit you the best. Is a share house your thing? A single housemate? Or living alone more your style. You'll also need to put away money for furniture and bond.

If you want to travel, first thing you need is money and an estimation on your costs for the trip. For that, go to an agent and sit down with them and work it out. Then calculate spending money in accordance with the exchange rates and then you need to save. Speak to your employer and see when is best for you to get time off work, then work out how long you will stay. Think about your accommodation, communication to back home and how you'll travel when you get there. Make sure that you have a separate account with money for emergencies, work out travel insurance and learn some basics if the language there isn't English. ('Help', 'yes' and 'no', 'please' and 'do you speak English?' are good.)

To get rich and famous. Now this one is a tricky one.. Because if I knew the secret, you'd definitely be seeing me on the cover of Vogue! But as you are not, it means I don't know. The only advise I can give you on this, is do what you love and are good at, and do it with all your heart. That way you cant go wrong. Some day, your hard work and effort will be paid off.

Now that I have given you some hints on how to get what you want, all you need to do is go out there and do your best!

Good luck ladies!

xo-xo