Words of Warning. When to get out.

Recently I have had a couple things go sour, this year doesn't seem to be starting out the way I had hoped, but as they say - Have hope! So I do! Things may not always go to plan in your life, sometimes it may seem like everyone and everything is plotting against you. Sometimes all it takes to turn it around is getting rid of some bad energy and people in your life. I thought that I should share in my experiences and give you guys some tips on when to get out. Be it a job you're being bullied at, a friendship that isn't at all rewarding, or a relationship that just plain sucks. Here are some tell tale signs of when to scoot. And fast!

SOS I hate my job!

I've been here since December, though technically I do still work at my job. I haven't gone for the past month. It turned out that my boss had it in for me in more than one way. So I'm on leave till I find something better. It took me a while to see, but here are some little tips for if you feel uneasy around the work place.

- The last person you should have to have your guard up with is your boss, right? Right. But sometimes this isn't the case. If your boss ever does anything to make you feel uncomfortable or in danger, use this as a sign that you need to take a step back and evaluate your position at your work place. Ignoring it could make more trouble that its worth. Speak to a HR Manager (If you have one) or a close work colleague. It might not be all in your head. You may be able to move departments if you work for a large company, or if you work for a smaller one like I did, you might need to have a serious talk with your boss or like in my case - get out. Sexual harassment isn't something young women should have to deal with. And don't. No amount of pay is worth feeling scared for your safety at work.

- You feel over worked and underpaid. This can be a tricky one. Another thing I had problems with. Check the contract you signed when you first started work there. How many hours does it specify? What about sick leave? Pay? Make sure you read through the details carefully and speak to your employer if you see anything amiss.

- You feel bullied. Yet another problem I faced. (Not the dream job I always wanted, I assure you). If you're at a larger company, definitely speak to your HR manager. This is the fast way to get that jerk to stop slapping your ass or get that supervisor to lay off. Smaller companies are tricky. If its a colleague that you feel is giving you a hard time. Take them aside and speak to them about it. Or if you don't feel comfortable with this, speak to your employer. If it is your employer that is bullying you, see above or call the workplace ombudsman.


SOS I hate hanging out with them! They're such jerks!!!

You're not alone. We all change and grow and become different people. Every 7 years we are meant to be a completely different person than we were previously. Its no wonder we grow out of our friends. Its just life. Last year I had my first official "friendship breakup". It was sad, but in the end we had nothing in common anymore and we both decided to give up. You may be sitting there thinking "well you probably wernt that close to start with!". I have news for you. This girl was one of my best and closest friends. I lived with her when times were rough at home when I was younger. We used to be inseparable. But as the years went on, I became more mature and it seems she just stayed where she was. We all grow up at different rates, and its hard. But that's just how it is.

- If you feel like a friend of yours is constantly taking advantage of you, putting you down, spiting you, doing things to hurt you constantly or being a dreadful person in general towards you, pull them aside and have a word. It might not always be them being a jerk. Sometimes people take out their feelings of anger or depression on the ones they care for the most. Grab a coffee together and ask them if everything is okay. They might be having problems at home or just need a shoulder to cry on. Other times they can be jealous or just mean people. If this is the case then you might as well just tell them you don't want to hang out anymore. You're time is precious, you should fill it with loving people and happy memories. Not fending off verbal abuse by your BFF.

- If you have a friend who never seems to have money, asks you to borrow things and never returns them or steals, your alarm bells should be going off like mad. Friendship is equal. You should be able to feel like you can go out with them and not have to shout them beer constantly. Maybe you should sit them down and tell them to manage their finances better before you go out with them again. As far as borrowing stuff and not returning it and stealing. Its not on. A major trust issue with allowing people into your house in the first place is trusting they wont rob you. First its a top, then a dress then its your beloved Burberry handbag you found on sale. Letting people get away with stuff like this only encourages them to keep doing it until they get caught. Using stuff without asking (this applies to people you live with mostly) is just as rude. My old housemate used to use my laptop without asking all the time. Soon she was going into my room to use it when I was at work, then deleting my important data. See? It escalates. People should always ask if they want to use something. No matter how small. Its a respect thing.


SOS My boyfriend is a jerk!

I have the worst track record when it comes to dating. I sure can pick em! They're always nice at first. But then Dr. Jekyll is gone and you have Mr. Hyde. Relationships, like friendships, should be equal. If one of you is more selfish than the other or you have different needs then there could be a problem. Given this is only a could. If you don't feel right in your relationship, there could be a good reason. And in this case there is sadly one solution. People don't change.

- "He hates my friends and gets jealous easily". I hear this soooo often its not funny. This is one of those silly trust issues that come about more often then you think. I dated a guy who was jealous of the attention I gave my DOG. Ridiculous. You shouldn't waste your time with people like this, as its obvious that they have 'issues' and probably cant be trusted themselves. You can do better. And your partner should always love your friends. Especially if you do.

- If the response to "does my bum look big in this" is 'yes' or you hear things that make you feel ashamed more than usual or at all. Chances are you're with a control freak. Get out. Seriously. Equality remember? Putting you down and making you feel small is how some people control the ones around them and its a form of bullying. You don't have to change a thing. You're the catch remember? Never let a man put you down or make you feel insignificant. Looks or otherwise. You're amazing. And he should tell you that as much and as often as he can.

* Real men will always treat you like the queen you are. Always.

If you guys have any other questions, if you're having more complicated troubles, I can post an answer for you anonymously.


Stay Amazing.

xoxo