Boys.

Yes ladies. Its time to talk boys.

In my short life I like to think that I have learnt more than the average 20 year old. Having been in 2 serious (by serious I mean living with) relationships and a handfull of not-so-serious ones I think I have seen enough to be able to speak freely about the topic.

We've all seen blogs about the dating world at 30, about life when you're 'older'. But what about for the 20 somethings? We may be new to this but thats the point. We need to learn and share our knowledge!

In the past 12 months I have come out of a serious relationship, moved interstate, fallen in unrequited-love, and gotten into a relationship with an amazing boy. There are love triangles, fights, break-ups, make-ups, confessions, laughter and tears. Lots of girl talks and shouting "I don't need a man" into the mirror.

I think I aught to start where everyone one should start. At the start! I remember it like it was yesterday!

My Valentines day of 2008: I was living with, well, we'll call him Tyler. Tyler and I had been together almost 2 years and I wasnt happpy. Tyler had a temper, was neglectful and rude. He put me down and made me feel aweful. At the time I had let myself go and wasnt prepaired to leave him to see what else was out there. It was Valentines Day, and I had decided I was going to have a good one for once, my previous history of V-Days has been shocking, having been dumped or single for most of them. So this V-Day *had* to be better. I got dressed up in my cutest outfit, did my make-up, organised Tyler to look half decent and shave, and off we went to my favorite restaurant.
Once there we sat down and turned off our phones. Good start! We ordered our food and waited.
Then, as soon as the food had hit the table, BAM! Insults flying left and right. I ended up so upset I took my phone into the bathroom to talk to my friend about it. After being calmed down and told I wasn't fat I returned to the table and ate the rest of my meal quietly. We paid. No wait. I paid and we left. I wasnt allowed to hold his hand. Not that I wanted to, as he kept grabbing at my little belly and calling me 'fatty'.
Finally getting to the front door he was feeling playful and pretending to throw punches at me. Calling me 'bitch' and wanting to eat lunch (again), I was ignoring him and getting my keys out of my handbag, why would anyone want to listen to someone so immature anyway? Until one of the fake punches became real and hit me right in the throat! Now I will say it was an accident, because it was. He was pretending and accidently took it too far. I knew this then, but I was still in pain and had to lie down. But no, he wanted his lunch and kept calling me 'bitch'.

Later that day I was instructed to pick up one of his friends from the city. I asked him if he could make it up to me for hurting me and for V-Days sake and buy me some flowers while I was out. For which I was told to, and I quote "F#@k off, you dumb bitch."

This, ladies - was the day I decided I should leave our dear Tyler. No woman should be spoken to so badly or treated with so little respect. And I mean NO woman.

From that day on I decided to get into shape, look out for myself only and I actually got noticed by a good friend of mine! He was lovely to me and gave me so much strength and courage to leave Tyler. I moved out, got thin, and made the huge decision to move to Melbourne. I also found a book that has helped me and will continue to help me for years to come. "He's not that into you" by Greg Bernhardt, also known as 'the bible'.

After getting myself together I learnt a valuable lesson. That men should do what men in the past did. Chase women. It was a difficult thing to do. Who wants to leave their fate in the hands of another? Who wants to wait around while a decision is made that involves you? After much back and forth I finally got it. I'm the catch. They call it 'the catch' for a reason and that if a guy is worth paying any attantion to, they will work for that attention. Its not about waiting around for them. Its about living your life and going with the flow. Who knows, maybe you'll meet a prince charming who's willing to do what it takes to be worth your time. Until then, just relax!

xoxo